Holler at us
 We take reservations, complaints, lost dentures, and the occasional live animal that wandered in thinking this was a shelter. If nobody answers, we are mid-sauté and the possum is winning. Do not text photos of your own skillet attempts. We have seen enough.

How to find the porch light that never turns off
234 Fakestreet, Fakecity. Phone: (555) 234-POSS. Email: weateone@garlicbutterpossum.fake. Hours: dusk till the garlic runs out, or till a guest asks what "free-range" actually means here. Reservations recommended if you want a fork. Walk-ins welcome if you can outrun dessert. We do not deliver. The possum already tried that lifestyle and look where it got him.