About the operation
 Founded at 2:17 a.m. when Chef Marge "Don't Ask" Hollis looked under the porch, looked at a stick of butter, and decided civilization had been asking the wrong questions. We are not farm-to-table. We are porch-to-skillet. Our tasting menu has one item and it is possum sautéed in garlic butter. Everything else is a rumor we plated anyway.

The important lies we tell the health department
234 Fakestreet, Fakecity. Staff of three: one cook, one torch operator, and one person whose only job is to keep the possum from leaving mid-service. We source locally, which is a polite way of saying the ingredient came to us. Awards include "Most Committed to Garlic" (self-issued) and "Please Stop Calling Us" (Fakecity Chamber of Commerce). Dessert is Hubcap Crème Brûlée or, if the hubcaps are in use as chairs, Swamp-Gas Soufflé, which arrives taller than your date and collapses if anyone mentions taxes.